I’m going to be treading on thin ice with this post….

Thin ice because, I think I sound a little like a dream killer with this post, and that is certainly NOT what my intentions are!  One of the most important jobs we have as coaches is to build kids up, inspire and motivate them!  We try to get them to work with passion towards being their best.  But, I think words matter, and that it’s important to not use words or phrases with kids that will ultimately mislead them.

The ‘big lie’ that I am referring to in the title are things like:

  All you have to do to get more playing time is to work harder!  Or…Spend more time in the gym this summer, get extra shots up, you’ll play more! Or… If youre not playing as much as you want, it means youre not spending enough time working on your game.

All coaches (myself included!!) have said that (or something similar) to a kid at some point in time….so why is it a ‘big lie’?

What happens when a kid actually does spend more time in the gym than the kid in front of him (or her)….they put up more shots than the one in front of them do…..BUT, the other guy (or gal) is still just better?

What happens is, you’ve just lied to that kid. You told them that all they had to do was work hard….they did that, they didnt miss a day, yet the kid that was better than them last year is STILL better than them and STILL playing more.

 One day several years ago during a conversation with one of my players, that thought just hit me like a ton of bricks!  Here I was telling this kid that all she had to do was work hard and she’d play more…..when I knew the reality was that she simply was not better than the kids she was trying to pass. She could spend more hours, get more shots up…..and she stillwouldn’t be better! My intentions were good….but the reality that dawned on me is that I was straight up lying to the kid.

So, what do you do as a coach?

I think you try to sell them on the concept that hard work is its own reward. That hard work, and time spent, don’t guarantee playing time….those things only provide them the opportunity to get get better. I think you sell them on their importance to the team without tying it to a certain amount of playing time.

Splitting hairs with the terminology? Yea, probably…..but I think that its important to retain credibility with kids. Be straight up with them….instead of feeding them false hope, re-direct their hope towards something that is realistic and obtainable.

I said from the start that my intentions with this blog were not to try to tell you what to do, but to simply give create some thought. One of the largest gray areas in coaching is the area between Chase your dreams!and Accept yourrole!…….so, put plenty of thought into what you tell each player.

**again, I apologize for the typos…..I may need a tutorial in WordPress because I cant seem to edit after prof reading.